Have a drink with Ryan

Wednesday, 22 April 2009 00:04 Ryan

Can you read this? If so, you need another drink or twelve.

Do you have any good drunken stories? Any stories of bad things that happened to you or your friends while out celebrating the weekend? Also, go ahead and post your opinion on my "Beer of the Week" featured in the most recent issue, or even tell us what your favorite drink is.

Last Updated on Wednesday, 22 April 2009 00:20

Comments (15)

so my latest drunken adventure involves me taking shots of jager and cherry cheesecake (vanilla vodka and cranberry juice). nonetheless with the encouragement of my 3 roommates and a dozen smoking redheads and brunettes i found myself streaking down Johnson and Pierce. none the less the night turned south when i was told that instead of covering my junk like a sensible drunken fool i went into a great thinker pose.
Ps: i love cherry cheesecake. if anybody finds out how to make a shot taste like pecan pie please post it

i love your column and look forward to it every issue! it's cool because you don't have to drink to appreciate what you write. you should probably lay off the schlitz though because that shit is disgusting!

Alright, so I decide to visit my best friend of the summer who'd recently left Western-bound. After sleeping on a floor and dealing with dorm-floor-drama and private elevators, my friend Lexi and I decide to fuck the dorm shit and head out. After breifly meeting up with two hotties from our home town of Aurora we decide that the party had run dry, and the only remaining people were just looking for their fuck of the night. As I put my key in the door to my car, Lexi comes running, "Hey, there's dudes over there that are playing beer pong!" and I reply with, "You don't know these fucking people, I'm heading home." She counters with, "Well, I'm not trying to be a cunt, but I'm prolly gonna stay, even if you don't." After realizing that I can't abandon my road dog, I decide to see what's going on with this pong action. Truth be told, there were just some cool dudes throwing pong on a bad ass beer pong table. Scoped the place out briefly, I joined in. While failing miserably I decide to just drink the beer out of the cups in front of me to end the game. It was a win-win situation. After Lexi and I established our respective "bros of the evening" I was introduced to The Western Garbage. Moral of the story, walked around an unknown town, met some unknown dudes, and read some unknown literature. All of which made for a great trip out west.

Last week, wasted wednesday I believe it was, I visited a quiet little college town. Expecting and receiving a 'bro' party, I was thoroughly pleased at the sight of two brahs stumbling through the yard with yet another keg. After getting the hang of the brutal keg line and somehow managing to purchase a couple cases, I felt that singing "It was a Good Day" by Ice Cube would be entirely appropriate.
Suddenly, as I was walking innocently through the streets, looking for my car no less, I was approached.
"Hey. Do YOU want to play beer pong?" (uncle sam comes to mind here). The angelic choirs began singing and I'm pretty sure I saw doves....though busch comas are known to do that to you.....

anyway, you guys are cool and I heard you were looking for a roommate(s) -remember my cool lesbian friend- not to be forward, but we'd be super down.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, keep up the good work

NEW FOUND LOVE= IRISH CAR BOMBS!!

huge fan of white russians, big lebowski all the way

best beer ever is hornsby's

I recently started reading your garbage and I think I might have a story for your column. On my first night of drinking on my first day at western, I went out house hopping to friends houses from my neighborhood. It was a great time, we sang and danced and acted like fools. But by the end of the night the crowd had withered down to just four of us, two guy friends of mine from home and an abnormally large female acquaintance of mine. I could feel myself starting to black out, when the next thing I know this girl is grabbing at my manly parts. I quickly run to the bathroom in a desperate attempt to get away from this behemoth, but in all of my drunkenness managed to whack my head off of the low bathroom door, my blackout hit instantly. I un-blacked-out roughly a half an hour later with this monstrosity breathing down my throat, I immediately feared for my life and the life of my penis. I wuickly threw my pants back on and ran out of the door. At this point in my WIU career I lived in Thompson Hall, as anyone who has lived in Thompson knows after 3:00 A.M. the drunken trek back home is agonizing. I was about halfway home when I decided to sit down and collect my thoughts after what just happened, now on the side here I am from Chicago and am not used to seeing stars in the sky, I sat on some steps in the middle of campus and looked up in the sky. Literally seconds later I was asleep, I awoke to a giant size twelve boot kicking me in the ribs, it was a friendly Western police officer, apparently I passed out on the OPS front steps. That was not a very nice welcoming weekend to Western, also it was not the last of my ridiculous nights at Western.

Leinenkugel's Honey Weiss....drink of champions

Thanks Corey, now I know what beer to drink if I want the girl out of my bed first thing in the morning...

I've got a story. For a friend coming home from Iraq I decided to throw a kegger for him. Upon looking at kegs we found a brand of beer I've not previously heard of named Spaten. Spaten is a german malt liquor and i figured this will go well for the ambitious night of drinking ahead. Well, I basically started drinking around 2 pm and didnt stop still some where around 5 am. The next morning i wake up with throw up all over my bed and in my little garbage can and i defecated midsleep. I'm sure i woke up with a look of success and of disgust from the smell.

hey ryan check this out, some cool freaking star trek themed drinks for the Trekkie in all of us
http://www.geekologie.com/2009/04/cocktails_for_the_trekkie_booz.php

I'd have to say that my favorite beer for flavor is 312 [Chi-Town!] and for cheap beer, Busch Light.

cranberry and vodka is where it's at. simple, yet delicious.

Good work on the column. My favorite beer is Guinness, but I also enjoy just about any pale ale.

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Have a drink with Ryan

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